The facebook status of my friend was heart-breaking:?After 25 years of working for the same company, my wonderful hard working amazing husband was told he does not have a job. Our world has turned upside down???A hard?situation to face?at the holiday season.
1) Don?t dwell on the negative.??Try to find something positive about?your challenging reality.?The holiday?season?when?we?walked through?my stepson?s custody battle was one of the hardest for me.?It?seemed as if?I got out of?bed every day with a dark cloud over my head. But I tried to focus on the blessing of the relationship with my husband and his willingness to walk a difficult road together that might not include a happy ending.
2) Trust God?s plan for your family even if you don?t understand it. I love the words of Charles Spurgeon: ?When you can?t trace God?s hand, trust His heart.? God wants what?s best for you and your family.?However, life is often understood backward; ?circumstances don?t?make sense?with our finite eyes. But we find peace?when we trust God?s plan, even if we don?t understand it.
3) Do your part to overcome the pain. Don?t allow yourself to be a victim, wallowing in self-pity. If you?re struggling with a stepfamily challenge that seems to have no end,?seek support. Talk with other stepmoms (healthy-minded ones). Find a counselor educated in stepfamily dynamics. Use Scripture and prayer to find answers. But don?t stay stuck in your pain?without reaching out.
4) Consider the joy of perseverance.??When I complete a long run as I train for running events, I find?joy in the perseverance of completing a 10 or 12 mile run. I know I?ve pushed myself to the limit and I wanted to give up, but I didn?t. The same holds true with stepfamilies. We will be pushed to the limit, but the joy comes in refusing to quit. I?ve written about it more here: ?Stepparenting Feels Like I?m Running a Marathon.?
5) Read our holiday e-book for encouragement. Stepmom Heather Hetchler and I wrote?our e-book, Unwrapping the Gift of Stepfamily Peace, to offer hope and encouragement to stepparents. We know how difficult the holiday season can be ? we?ve walked the road in our own stepfamilies. I hope you?ll consider purchasing and reading?the e-book as a gift to yourself.
I don?t know what pain you?re facing in your stepfamily but I?pray you don?t allow it to overshadow the joy of the holiday. I want to offer the privilege of praying for you if you share your concerns with me. I?d love to hear from you. ?For nothing is impossible with God? (Luke 1:37).
Are you facing stepfamily pain? Will you commit to a positive perspective and intentional effort?to keep it from overshadowing?your holiday joy?
Related Posts:
Your Holiday Doesn?t Have to Be Perfect to Be Meaningful
Trusting God?s Plan on a Difficult Journey
Is the Heartache of Stepparenting Worth It?
Source: http://stepparentingwithgrace.wordpress.com/2012/12/13/when-stepfamily-pain-overshadows-holiday-joy/
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