When Stepfamily Pain Overshadows Holiday Joy ? Step Parenting ...

The facebook status of my friend was heart-breaking:?After 25 years of working for the same company, my wonderful hard working amazing husband was told he does not have a job. Our world has turned upside down???A hard?situation to face?at the holiday season.

But the reality is, we?re all dealing with tough stuff. Stepfamilies, especially, often carry pain throughout the holiday season. So, how do you cope? Here are a few suggestions:

1) Don?t dwell on the negative.??Try to find something positive about?your challenging reality.?The holiday?season?when?we?walked through?my stepson?s custody battle was one of the hardest for me.?It?seemed as if?I got out of?bed every day with a dark cloud over my head. But I tried to focus on the blessing of the relationship with my husband and his willingness to walk a difficult road together that might not include a happy ending.

2) Trust God?s plan for your family even if you don?t understand it. I love the words of Charles Spurgeon: ?When you can?t trace God?s hand, trust His heart.? God wants what?s best for you and your family.?However, life is often understood backward; ?circumstances don?t?make sense?with our finite eyes. But we find peace?when we trust God?s plan, even if we don?t understand it.

3) Do your part to overcome the pain. Don?t allow yourself to be a victim, wallowing in self-pity. If you?re struggling with a stepfamily challenge that seems to have no end,?seek support. Talk with other stepmoms (healthy-minded ones). Find a counselor educated in stepfamily dynamics. Use Scripture and prayer to find answers. But don?t stay stuck in your pain?without reaching out.

4) Consider the joy of perseverance.??When I complete a long run as I train for running events, I find?joy in the perseverance of completing a 10 or 12 mile run. I know I?ve pushed myself to the limit and I wanted to give up, but I didn?t. The same holds true with stepfamilies. We will be pushed to the limit, but the joy comes in refusing to quit. I?ve written about it more here: ?Stepparenting Feels Like I?m Running a Marathon.?

5) Read our holiday e-book for encouragement. Stepmom Heather Hetchler and I wrote?our e-book, Unwrapping the Gift of Stepfamily Peace, to offer hope and encouragement to stepparents. We know how difficult the holiday season can be ? we?ve walked the road in our own stepfamilies. I hope you?ll consider purchasing and reading?the e-book as a gift to yourself.

I don?t know what pain you?re facing in your stepfamily but I?pray you don?t allow it to overshadow the joy of the holiday. I want to offer the privilege of praying for you if you share your concerns with me. I?d love to hear from you. ?For nothing is impossible with God? (Luke 1:37).

Are you facing stepfamily pain? Will you commit to a positive perspective and intentional effort?to keep it from overshadowing?your holiday joy?

Related Posts:

Your Holiday Doesn?t Have to Be Perfect to Be Meaningful

Trusting God?s Plan on a Difficult Journey

Is the Heartache of Stepparenting Worth It?

Source: http://stepparentingwithgrace.wordpress.com/2012/12/13/when-stepfamily-pain-overshadows-holiday-joy/

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Local Mom Without Cancer To Undergo Double Mastectomy ? CBS ...

HERMOSA BEACH (CBSLA.com) ??A Hermosa Beach mother made the decision to undergo a double mastectomy even though she doesn?t have breast?cancer.

Jennifer Caras? family, however, has a history of the life-threatening disease.

Her sister, Julie, passed away at the age of 28 from a brain tumor, and her mother and?grandmother battled breast cancer.

Those circumstances impacted?Caras? decision to remove both of her breasts in January.

?I always feel like I have three good reasons to do it and it?s my three little ones. I?ve got to be around for them a long time, and I?ve got to be healthy,? she said.

Dr. Stephen Sener, the chief of surgical oncology at Keck Medical Center of USC, said there are many reasons patients undergo elective mastectomies.

In addition,?multiple factors go into determining a patient?s risk of developing breast cancer.

?Have they been gene tested? What?s really the family history? Is it just breast cancer? How many people with breast cancer? Is there a history of ovarian cancer in the family?? he said.

According to Sener, instead of surgery, some patients choose to take the anti-estrogen drug Tamoxifen, which has shown to cut the risk of developing breast cancer in half.

?For some people, that?s enough to have a conversation about, but for others, half is still no good,??Sener said.

While surgery drastically reduces the risk of breast cancer, there are side effects and a 1 percent chance that cancer will develop.

Sener said, ?After doing this for 30 years, I?ve never had someone come back and tell me that they did the wrong thing? after they?ve had a prophylactic mastectomy.?

Caras said with her family?s support, she?s ready to move forward.

?Taking this into my own hands and eliminating my risk?it is a big decision. It is a big decision, but it feels right and it feels empowering to take it off my plate,? she said.

Source: http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2012/12/11/oc-mom-without-cancer-to-undergo-double-mastectomy/

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Venezuela VP: Hugo Chavez recovering after surgery

CARACAS, Venezuela (AP) ? Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez was recovering in Cuba on Tuesday after an operation targeting an aggressive cancer that has defied multiple treatments and has prompted the socialist leader to name a political successor.

Vice President Nicolas Maduro spoke on Venezuelan television after the surgery, saying that "it's been a complex operation." He indicated that the surgery lasted more than six hours and said it was completed "correctly and successfully."

Maduro, who was designated by the president on Saturday as his preferred political heir, made the announcement in Caracas flanked by other Chavez aides and military commanders. Maduro then led an outdoor vigil where the president's supporters joined hands in prayer and sang along with a recording of Chavez singing the national anthem.

"We've lived through complex moments of tension," Maduro said, without giving details.

It was the fourth cancer-related operation that Chavez has undergone since June 2011.

Three days before the surgery, Chavez announced that he needed to have surgery again after tests showed "some malignant cells" had reappeared in the same area of his pelvic region where tumors were previously removed.

Chavez said beforehand that the surgery would present risks.

Afterward, Maduro said that Chavez had been moved to a room to recover and begin "special treatments" under the care of a team including medical experts from Venezuela, Cuba and elsewhere.

With Chavez in Havana were his children and grandchildren as well as political allies including National Assembly President Diosdado Cabello and Oil Minister Rafael Ramirez, Maduro said.

"We're waiting for you here," Maduro said, addressing Chavez on television. "You have to return, and we're waiting for you here, your children, we who've sworn to be loyal to you even beyond this life."

Maduro added: "If there were another life, we'd be loyal and we'd be your soldiers forever."

After he spoke, some of the president's supporters in a Caracas plaza broke into chants of "El Comandante will live!"

Supporters held a prayer meeting in downtown Caracas while the surgery was under way, singing hymns.

"We ask God, to allow him to live," said Carmen Romero, who participated in the gathering. Some held up posters of Chavez as they sang.

On the city's streets, Venezuelans on both sides of the country's deep political divide voiced concerns about Chavez's condition and what might happen if he ultimately doesn't survive his illness.

"It's difficult to think about Venezuela without Chavez," said Rafael Perdomo, a mechanic who has supported the president since 1998, when he first ran for the presidency. "I fear that we, the poor, could lose everything if Chavez dies."

Chavez recently said for the first time that if his illness cuts short his presidency, Maduro should take his place and be elected president to continue on with his socialist movement. But Perdomo said he didn't trust Maduro the way he trusts Chavez.

Others Venezuelans said that while they're sorry about Chavez's health and wish him the best, it isn't a particular concern for them. Many were out buying Christmas gifts and shopping for food as they prepared for the holiday season.

"I'm sorry about what is happening to the president, but for many of us life goes on," said Maria Colmenares, a housewife and opposition supporter, as she left a supermarket with bags of groceries and stood on a street corner waiting for a taxi.

"I feel pity for Chavez and his people, especially the Chavistas because they have put all their hopes in the president and they know that nobody is capable of replacing Chavez," Colmenares added. "None of Chavez's collaborators have his charisma."

Chavez received a flurry of get-well messages from leaders across Latin America, including the presidents of Chile, Peru and other countries. Ecuadorean President Rafael Correa, who visited Chavez in Havana on Monday, said his ally was undergoing a "very delicate operation."

"He's passing through one of the hardest moments of his life. Our heart and our solidarity are with a historic president," Correa said at an event Tuesday in the Ecuadorean city of Tulcan.

Those sending messages of support ahead of the operation included American actor Sean Penn, who joined a Monday night candlelight vigil in Bolivia organized by the Venezuelan Embassy. He wore a track suit emblazoned with the colors of Venezuela's flag, just like one that Chavez has worn.

"He is one of the most important forces we've had on this planet. And I will wish him nothing but that great strength he has shown over and over again," Penn told a crowd at the vigil, his voice quavering with emotion. He called Chavez "inspiring."

Throughout his nearly 14-year-old presidency, Chavez has been loved by some Venezuelans and reviled by others as he has nationalized companies, crusaded against U.S. influence and labeled his enemies "oligarchs" and "squalid ones."

The 58-year-old president won re-election in October and is due to be sworn in for a new six-year term on Jan. 10. If Chavez were to die, the constitution says that new elections should be called and held within 30 days.

Chavez first announced he had been diagnosed with cancer in June 2011. He underwent a surgery for a pelvic abscess, and then had a baseball-sized tumor removed from his pelvic area. In February, he underwent another surgery when a tumor reappeared in the same area.

He has also undergone months of chemotherapy and radiation treatments. Throughout his treatments in Cuba, Chavez has kept secret some details of his illness, including the exact location and type of the tumors.

Chavez had previously said in July that tests showed he was cancer-free. But he said over the weekend that a new round of tests in Cuba had again found cancerous cells.

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Diego Torres in Quito, Ecuador, and Associated Press writers Ian James and Fabiola Sanchez in Caracas contributed to this report.

___

Christopher Toothaker on Twitter: http://twitter.com/ctoothaker

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/venezuela-vp-hugo-chavez-recovering-surgery-022002840.html

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Is Customer Service the New Marketing? | SMEI Blog

This question of whether customer service is the new marketing isn?t just about the increasing importance of social media and customer reviews, or rising consumer disenchantment with traditional marketing. For some, it?s about making the decision between long-term reputation and short-term profit.

This topic was at the center of a recent Google+ Debate research firm Software Advice hosted titled ?Is Customer Service the New Marketing?? A panel of experts discussed what kinds of companies should embrace a customer-centric strategy as a form of marketing, and how they should go about implementing this approach.

The event featured a lineup of customer service and marketing experts including:

• Shep Hyken, speaker, best-selling author, consultant
• Jon Miller, Marketo co-founder,? VP of marketing
• Micah Solomon, speaker, author, consultant
• Denis Pombriant, Beagle Research Group CEO, author

The panel answered the following questions before the debate was opened up to the audience for questions:

• Zappos leadership sees support not as a cost center, but as an opportunity to market through personal connections with customers. Their success is largely attributable to customer loyalty and word of mouth. So, based on this, is customer service the new marketing?
• And where doesn?t this strategy work?
• For companies where it does make sense, how do they implement such a monumental shift in strategy and culture?
• Clearly, this is a strategy that pays out over the long term. How can a business measure this shift to ensure they are getting the right return on their shifting investment and priorities?

Here?s a quick snapshot of their discussion.

The group first emphasized the importance of mirroring your customers? expectations, rather than trying to dictate your brand to them. Customers won?t believe what you say about yourself unless it matches what their social networks also say about you. This can be amazing customer service, or it can be price, selection, or something else.

Next, they talked about breaking the bounds of marketing and customer service departments. Instead of feeling like you have to choose one or the other, leverage them together. Retweet an interesting customer service interaction on Twitter. Or get service agents to collaborate on buyer persona development. Be creative.

For companies that do want to implement a Zappos-level of customer service, you need to start at the top. Make the decision to put the customer at the center of your business, then reinforce the idea with processes, resources and measurement.

Finally, the group said the most important thing marketers need to consider is that the buyer is in control of their buying process. You can?t decide what information they will go after, or when, so you still need to make your company as attractive as possible. Customer service is just a piece of that puzzle.

Source: http://blog.smei.org/?p=280

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Report: Calif. stem cell agency needs overhaul

FILE - This March 16, 2012 file photo shows researcher Terry Storm working in a stem cell research lab at the Lorry I. Lokey Stem Cell Research Building on the Stanford University campus in Palo Alto, Calif. A report by the Institute of Medicine released Thursday Dec. 6, 2012 said California?s stem cell agency has done a good job of supporting research but said improvements are needed. (AP Photo/Paul Sakuma, file)

FILE - This March 16, 2012 file photo shows researcher Terry Storm working in a stem cell research lab at the Lorry I. Lokey Stem Cell Research Building on the Stanford University campus in Palo Alto, Calif. A report by the Institute of Medicine released Thursday Dec. 6, 2012 said California?s stem cell agency has done a good job of supporting research but said improvements are needed. (AP Photo/Paul Sakuma, file)

LOS ANGELES (AP) ? California has transformed into a major player in stem cell research, but the taxpayer-funded institute responsible has "significant deficiencies" in how research dollars are distributed, experts said Thursday.

A report by the Institute of Medicine found too many members on the board of the California Institute for Regenerative Medicine represented schools that won funding and recommended a restructuring to avoid the appearance of conflict of interest.

California voters in 2004 approved Proposition 71, a state ballot initiative that created CIRM, at a time when there were federal restrictions on human embryonic stem cell research and such work was opposed by some on religious and moral grounds because embryos have to be destroyed to harvest the cells.

The agency was given broad power to distribute $3 billion in bond proceeds to promising research. So far, it has distributed more than $1 billion to some five dozen universities that went mostly toward investments in new buildings and basic research.

The team of 13 experts that reviewed the stem-cell agency's operations did not judge the merits of individual studies because that was outside the scope of the report and it would have been too time-consuming and costly. But they raised serious questions about how grants were allotted.

The approval process "has some significant deficiencies which need to be improved upon in order to improve CIRM's credibility and transparency," said Harold Shapiro, an emeritus professor at Princeton University who chaired the report.

In a few short years, CIRM got off the ground and funneled research money with an eye toward stem cell therapies, turning the state into "an international hub of research and development in stem cell biology," the report said.

While the panel did not find any specific cases of conflict, it noted that the potential exists because of how the board is made up.

CIRM is composed of 29 members, mostly from academia. They have the dual role of providing oversight and day-to-day management. While the structure may have worked when CIRM was first launched and shielded it from political meddling, change is needed going forward, experts said.

"They're not broken but they're bent," said Sharon Terry, president of the nonprofit Genetic Alliance who was part of the panel. "They need some correction."

Among the recommendations: The board should remain at arm's length from the management team, focus on providing better oversight and should not decide what projects to fund. It also needs to be more diverse and include more representatives from industry and members with no stake in the grant-awarding process. Experts also favored the creation of an outside scientific group to give advice and expertise.

Some of the suggested changes would require legislative approval, but the panel felt they were needed to erase concerns about possible conflicts of interest.

In a statement, CIRM board chairman Jonathan Thomas said the agency has not had a chance to digest the report. Once board members talk it over with the panel next week, they will decide "on how best to proceed so that we can respond in as thoughtful a manner to the recommendations" as the panel did, Thomas said.

The latest report echoed several others in the past by other groups, which also called for a new governance structure.

"CIRM has not responded in a meaningful way to many previous public interest suggestions or to independent reviews," Marcy Darnovsky of the Center for Genetics and Society said in a statement. "We hope the agency will not continue that pattern."

Since cutting the first check in 2006, CIRM now finds itself at a crossroads. The federal research limits that existed when it was created have been relaxed and it recently shifted focus from basic research to funding projects that can swiftly begin human trials. Experts felt this goal was unrealistic and urged the agency to have a more balanced approach.

At its current funding pace, CIRM is expected to earmark the last grants around 2017, but since most are multi-year awards, it will stay in business until around 2021. It's currently deciding its future for when the money runs out.

The $700,000 report was sponsored by CIRM ? a customary practice for organizations seeking a review. The Institute of Medicine said sponsors have no influence on the fact-gathering process and are barred from reviewing drafts or weighing in on the report before publication.

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Follow Alicia Chang at http://twitter.com/SciWriAlicia

___

Online:

California Institute for Regenerative Medicine: http://www.cirm.ca.gov/

Institute of Medicine: http://www.iom.edu/

Associated Press

Source: http://hosted2.ap.org/APDEFAULT/b2f0ca3a594644ee9e50a8ec4ce2d6de/Article_2012-12-06-California%20Stem%20Cell/id-d62adaae26474a029611a3c6d49a3c1f

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Blogger Jailed After Password-Hacking Ecuador?s President

An Ecuadorian blogger who documented a security hole that allowed him to register in Ecuador's national online identity database system as the nation's president was arrested on Friday, before being released today following an intervention by President Rafael Correa himself.

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/GearFactor/~3/8Qx9JOqOWFU/

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IBM awarded MoD property management contract ...

The MoD's Defence Infrastructure Organisation (DIO) has awarded IBM a contract to help make the running of its ?24 billion property portfolio more energy and operationally efficient.

DIO is responsible for the management of around 4,000 separate sites worldwide, including military barracks, land, air and naval bases, and military training grounds.

Using IBM?s smarter buildings software and services, DIO expects to reduce building operating costs and find ways to better use its existing real estate.

DIO will use IBM technology to replace its "outdated legacy IT environment" and create a new centralised information management system to allow faster analysis, said DIO.

Andrew Manley, DIO chief executive, said, ?IBM analytics technology helps us continue our work in creating a world-class infrastructure to put DIO at the leading edge of the technology transformation process happening right now across the MoD.?

The IBM TRIRIGA system will provide an integrated property management platform comprising of software and consultancy services. This will give DIO central visibility of its property and data on how efficiently they are being used.

A geospatial mapping capability, created by business partner Esri UK, will provide a real-time visualisation map to display the scope of infrastructure and assets.

The new system will be launched in a number of "capability releases" through to April 2014, said the DIO. The potential value of the contract has not been disclosed.

Georgina O'Toole, an analyst at TechMarketView, said, "We understand that IBM will collect and process data from the lower level systems such as those associated with the National Housing Prime (NHP) contract let in 2011.

"We know that Steria already holds a contract to provide a housing management system to DIO for the management of the housing estate. It may well be that an interface will be required between the Steria and IBM systems."

After the selection of Atlas (led by HP) for the current core Defence Information Infrastructure (DII(F)) programme, said O'Toole, other suppliers had to focus on delivering complex software development and integration projects in order to maintain a presence.

"As DII(F) and other core contracts are restructured the infrastructure and applications supplier landscape within UK defence has the potential to be severely disrupted over the next few years," said O'Toole.

The MoD revealed this week that between 2009 and 2011 it spent a whopping ?3.6 billion on IT and telecommunications for use across the department and armed services.

Source: http://www.computerworlduk.com/news/outsourcing/3413827/ibm-awarded-mod-property-management-contract/

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